While playing around with the set-up features of this blog, I discovered viewer stats that I never knew existed. Though I have no idea WHO specifically is reading my entries, I found out WHERE people are seeing this. It's a kind of creepy-yet awesomely cool feeling to know that I'm not the only one reading my own words. Makes me less lonely I guess. Blogging can be sad.
Before I go cry myself to sleep, I'd like to warmly acknowledge a few loyal people:
Thank you, 53 communists who made Russia my second biggest country in terms of viewership! You rallied to beat Germany (47) again. By the way, did you know that you two are very competitive people by nature. No fighting over me, please. I have plenty of blog for you to share.
Thank you, 29 random people from The Netherlands who read me last week. I'm guessing that it must have been too cold in Amsterdam to leave the house in search of weed. Don't really know what drove you guys to find me (red lights?), but I'm thankful nonetheless.
Thank you, 8 United Arab Emirates citizens who helped put my words into a part of the world that I will never see. Your efforts have now landed me on 3 continents. Praise Allah! Though this is awessome, I'd like you to find Jesus at some point. Look for me to blog about that before the end of days in 2012.
And finally, thank you to the 937 Americans who I most likely will never know. Should we ever happen to meet, greet me with the phrase "Here is $100.". If it's not too much to ask, hand me the cash next. It's only polite to follow through with what you said and integrity is important after all. Anything less than that would be distinctly un-American. You don't want to be un-American now, do you? I didn't think so either.
Help me go global and put this blog on the map! I want peeps in Asia and Africa soon; too many of them not to have at least one reader, right? Adios mi amigos!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Universal Buddy
My daughters are really enjoying Dana's pregnancy these past few weeks. Their endless kisses and pokes to mommy's belly is overwhelming proof that Emy and Sami are ready to meet their sibling. You can even hear the excitement in their voices as they talk about "our" baby. Sometime in the past month, this kiddo stopped being just Dana's and mine; Buddy now belongs to them too. I think this quasi-ownership is super cute. I also think it's just the honeymoon phase.
Here is what I strongly believe:
We are all extremely anxious to meet Buddy in less than 3 weeks! Dana's health is good, the kids are somewhat helpful with the chores we've given them, and I'm fighting back the fears of being a dad again at age 42. Despite what would seem like an upheaval in our routine, our lives are constantly in a state of flux anyway; adding a new family member is a life change that we only see as a blessing from God.
"Our" baby, is what my girls are calling their unborn sibling at the moment. How long this universal ownership lasts will just depend on our transition from a familiar quartet to a party of five. When we hear "your" baby from our daughters' mouths for the first time, Dana and I will have confirmation that Buddy's sisters have made the adjustment to living alongside a newborn with flying colors. Hearing "our" baby is wonderful even if it's only temporary.
Here is what I strongly believe:
- The girls will love their new brother/sister as much as they love each other.
- Our family dynamic will change for the betterment of each of us.
- Dana and I will witness growth and maturity from our children that will amaze us.
- For all the proclamations of love that this baby will bring, neither daughter of mine will volunteer to change the first explosive diaper that leaks through the onesie, soaks the crib sheet, and takes 15 wipes to clean.
We are all extremely anxious to meet Buddy in less than 3 weeks! Dana's health is good, the kids are somewhat helpful with the chores we've given them, and I'm fighting back the fears of being a dad again at age 42. Despite what would seem like an upheaval in our routine, our lives are constantly in a state of flux anyway; adding a new family member is a life change that we only see as a blessing from God.
"Our" baby, is what my girls are calling their unborn sibling at the moment. How long this universal ownership lasts will just depend on our transition from a familiar quartet to a party of five. When we hear "your" baby from our daughters' mouths for the first time, Dana and I will have confirmation that Buddy's sisters have made the adjustment to living alongside a newborn with flying colors. Hearing "our" baby is wonderful even if it's only temporary.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
3, 2, 1. Blast Off!!!
I have a buzz.
One glass of wine is all it took. For those who are asking, Beringer's 2010 White Zinfandel made this all possible. Thank you, notable vineyard from Napa Valley.
Since I'm maneuvering in a numerical numbness, 3 weeks and 2 days is all that's left between us as the family of 4 we all know and understand, and the family of 5 we have wanted to be for a long time. Baby Buddy is a mover and shaker en utero, so my guess is that he/she is going to keep us on our toes for the better part of the next 25 years. We're all calling the baby "Buddy" during this time because:
1. we don't know the gender, and
2. this child is going to be someone's (or everyone's) constant companion for a good long time.
The excitement of a new life is hard to quantify since the variables of that child are consistently inconsistent. Will the baby be healthy? We he/she cry all the time? Are we prepared for poop running up the back again after a long layoff? These burning questions will all soon be answered.
I will confess to this, I'm nearly ready for the challenge all over again. I just need more sleep, less homework, and a 2nd bottle of wine to be properly chilled in the fridge at all times. I rarely have a drink now but I have the feeling that this 3rd baby o' mine is going to have a happier daddy after 10 PM than his/ her sisters had. Alcohol or not, my two daughters broke me in and I'm now an "experienced" father who shouldn't make the same dumb mistakes I once did.
Baby Buddy is almost here! In 23 days, our lives will start down another path and the Jones family won't look the same way it once did. Sure, we'll still have our moments of endless laughter and tears, but now another soul will add it's voice to our choir. Will it drown out it's sisters' or will it blend harmoniously with everyone's? Time will tell. My guess is that a daily afternoon glass of wine will calm the nerves and give me the clarity needed to help conduct this symphony,..........
..........or give me a buzz to drown out all the noise.
One glass of wine is all it took. For those who are asking, Beringer's 2010 White Zinfandel made this all possible. Thank you, notable vineyard from Napa Valley.
Since I'm maneuvering in a numerical numbness, 3 weeks and 2 days is all that's left between us as the family of 4 we all know and understand, and the family of 5 we have wanted to be for a long time. Baby Buddy is a mover and shaker en utero, so my guess is that he/she is going to keep us on our toes for the better part of the next 25 years. We're all calling the baby "Buddy" during this time because:
1. we don't know the gender, and
2. this child is going to be someone's (or everyone's) constant companion for a good long time.
The excitement of a new life is hard to quantify since the variables of that child are consistently inconsistent. Will the baby be healthy? We he/she cry all the time? Are we prepared for poop running up the back again after a long layoff? These burning questions will all soon be answered.
I will confess to this, I'm nearly ready for the challenge all over again. I just need more sleep, less homework, and a 2nd bottle of wine to be properly chilled in the fridge at all times. I rarely have a drink now but I have the feeling that this 3rd baby o' mine is going to have a happier daddy after 10 PM than his/ her sisters had. Alcohol or not, my two daughters broke me in and I'm now an "experienced" father who shouldn't make the same dumb mistakes I once did.
Baby Buddy is almost here! In 23 days, our lives will start down another path and the Jones family won't look the same way it once did. Sure, we'll still have our moments of endless laughter and tears, but now another soul will add it's voice to our choir. Will it drown out it's sisters' or will it blend harmoniously with everyone's? Time will tell. My guess is that a daily afternoon glass of wine will calm the nerves and give me the clarity needed to help conduct this symphony,..........
..........or give me a buzz to drown out all the noise.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Baby Buddy Shall Be Named ...........
My wife is 29 weeks pregnant right now and looking every part of the beautiful momma to be for the third time. It's at this place in her pregnancy where every one starts asking the question "Have you picked out a name for the baby yet?"
Uh, yes and no. If Buddy (that's the name we gave to our not so hidden bundle) is a boy, then yes, we have something to work with. But if Buddy turns out to be a girl.... how do I say this nicely, we're screwed.
Coming up with names hasn't been difficult; there are probably 10 names we like individually. The problem is agreeing on one. I like Amanda. Dana like Olivia. I like Jennifer. Dana likes Madison. I like ketchup. Dana likes mustard. Less filling. Tastes great. We're at a standstill.
There has to be a solution that gives our daughter a dignified name before she leaves the hospital. Dana bought a baby naming book to help us out and since we're middle class white folk, there are no plans to get creative with consonants, vowels, or commas. Not giving our kid a symbol either.
La'Babeegurl3 Jones ain't happening.
Since we are almost 2 months away from the c-section and are stuck in this process, I think we should sell the naming rights. Seriously. We all know people who will spend money on anything and maybe one of them will give us tuition money for the honor.
"Have you always wanted to have a child named after you?" "Do you have someone special in your life that's really hard to buy a gift for?" "Is there a legacy you want to leave and no one to leave it to?" Well come on down and pull up a seat. I might have a deal for you!
If Reliant Stadium in Houston can have a 32 year, $300 million naming rights deal, why the heck can't we sell our kid's name for a fraction of that? Seems like a good investment to me. Dana and I make good looking and smart kids with tremendous entertainment value. Our stock is solid.
So let me just leave this post with this; if you know of a female name that sounds great to you that won't offend anyone or be a pain in the ass for our kid to spell, send me an email. If you know of a millionaire who has money to burn, give me a phone call. If you have a serious stockpile of cash and stocks, come on over.
Limited Edition Jones will be here in November. Act now while supplies last.
Uh, yes and no. If Buddy (that's the name we gave to our not so hidden bundle) is a boy, then yes, we have something to work with. But if Buddy turns out to be a girl.... how do I say this nicely, we're screwed.
Coming up with names hasn't been difficult; there are probably 10 names we like individually. The problem is agreeing on one. I like Amanda. Dana like Olivia. I like Jennifer. Dana likes Madison. I like ketchup. Dana likes mustard. Less filling. Tastes great. We're at a standstill.
There has to be a solution that gives our daughter a dignified name before she leaves the hospital. Dana bought a baby naming book to help us out and since we're middle class white folk, there are no plans to get creative with consonants, vowels, or commas. Not giving our kid a symbol either.
La'Babeegurl3 Jones ain't happening.
Since we are almost 2 months away from the c-section and are stuck in this process, I think we should sell the naming rights. Seriously. We all know people who will spend money on anything and maybe one of them will give us tuition money for the honor.
"Have you always wanted to have a child named after you?" "Do you have someone special in your life that's really hard to buy a gift for?" "Is there a legacy you want to leave and no one to leave it to?" Well come on down and pull up a seat. I might have a deal for you!
If Reliant Stadium in Houston can have a 32 year, $300 million naming rights deal, why the heck can't we sell our kid's name for a fraction of that? Seems like a good investment to me. Dana and I make good looking and smart kids with tremendous entertainment value. Our stock is solid.
So let me just leave this post with this; if you know of a female name that sounds great to you that won't offend anyone or be a pain in the ass for our kid to spell, send me an email. If you know of a millionaire who has money to burn, give me a phone call. If you have a serious stockpile of cash and stocks, come on over.
Limited Edition Jones will be here in November. Act now while supplies last.
Monday, August 8, 2011
tick tock
Two weeks from today the 2011-12 school year and my "get the house ready for a new baby" clock both begin. Though driving the kids to school on that day will be easy, deciding which part of the house needs demolishing first will be much more difficult. Just thinking about the numerous tasks gives me a headache and that's why I not only super-sized my recent Tylenol purchase, but I also often stop myself from planning it all out. The truth that is just so hard to come to grips with is this: the more thought that goes into the revamping of our home, the less likely I'm going to move a damn thing.
As far as this blog goes, I no longer have time for snarky comments or laughable sarcasm. I do have one request though: I would appreciate it if anyone can tell me where a dumpster can be rented. I'm going to need a REALLY BIG one.
Wish me, my head, and my back, lots of luck. I just hope I'll have time to rest before Buddy makes his/her grand entrance both into this world and a clean, safe, and totally organized home (if I get the job done).
As far as this blog goes, I no longer have time for snarky comments or laughable sarcasm. I do have one request though: I would appreciate it if anyone can tell me where a dumpster can be rented. I'm going to need a REALLY BIG one.
Wish me, my head, and my back, lots of luck. I just hope I'll have time to rest before Buddy makes his/her grand entrance both into this world and a clean, safe, and totally organized home (if I get the job done).
Monday, July 25, 2011
Perpetual Motion
Weather.com has the temperature outside at a cool 103 degrees so I decided to shirk the parental duty of taking my kid outside to play. Instead, I am engaged in the act of adding another entry to this forgotten blog with the hopes that my mobile imagination station, known as Sami, plays in the other room; quietly, softly, and sitting down. Those three activities are all possible but sadly for me, just not very likely. She truly never stops moving, talking, or moving and talking. Unless of course if the TV is on.
As I finished that last sentence, Sami came rushing in here to tell me SHE was ready to play the Wii. Wonderful! So happy for her that she's come to that conclusion! Is it OK for me to not immediately get up and act on her desire or can I just sit here and finish writing? Of course not. We're all at her beck and call. She's 5 and I'm not.
Though I would really like to keep writing, I have to go now. My kid keeps brushing past me like a vulture and I'm the carrion. If I don't move, Sami won't leave me alone and if I act too quickly, she'll pull me into her vortex. I love her with all my heart and that which makes her who she is. Unfortunately, that makes me one tired pop and if I'm going to get any break at all from her, I need a nap more than I need to blog.
After the TV goes on, I can get some rest from the Energizer Bunny as she falls into a trance and finally sits down.
Click! Nighty night. Sami will wake me up when the cartoon goes off.
As I finished that last sentence, Sami came rushing in here to tell me SHE was ready to play the Wii. Wonderful! So happy for her that she's come to that conclusion! Is it OK for me to not immediately get up and act on her desire or can I just sit here and finish writing? Of course not. We're all at her beck and call. She's 5 and I'm not.
Though I would really like to keep writing, I have to go now. My kid keeps brushing past me like a vulture and I'm the carrion. If I don't move, Sami won't leave me alone and if I act too quickly, she'll pull me into her vortex. I love her with all my heart and that which makes her who she is. Unfortunately, that makes me one tired pop and if I'm going to get any break at all from her, I need a nap more than I need to blog.
After the TV goes on, I can get some rest from the Energizer Bunny as she falls into a trance and finally sits down.
Click! Nighty night. Sami will wake me up when the cartoon goes off.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Book of Secret?
I have news to share with my children but I'm waiting for my wife to allow me to tell them. Somewhere between a wonderful surprise and an enormous responsibility is where this news lies and we're going to need the kids to be a major part of the plan in order to be successful. How we reveal the secret is more important to my wife though and it has to be memorable. Dana is a photographer at heart and captures every event digitally. Since I'm the wordsmith and she's Annie Leibovitz, I think we're going to be putting our heads together to make this collaboration special. Home movie? Scrapbook? Music video? Just getting the creative juices flowing is fun and making Dana happy is the goal I can't lose sight of.
I'm under strict orders not to tell the kids my news until the time is right. I am just wondering if that includes indirect sunlight, fashionista primping, and a professional makeup artist. Dana is very particular when it comes to capturing life on film so there's a good chance our kids won't be town criers until Dana figures out the setting, location, and timing of the big reveal. When we do finally reveal the secret, trust me, everyone will know too as the girls don't know how to keep anything to themselves. I'm sure that ability will be acquired within the next 10 years or so but for now, my children are blissfully ignorant to the social dilemmas faced by adults. When it comes to divulging news, who you tell and when you tell it are two of the most important decisions people have to routinely make.
Before I open my big mouth, I'll just stop typing the thoughts that are streaming wildly out of my head. I apparently haven't learned the basic concept of zipping my lips and this blog might spur an email of two wondering what the hell I'm talking about. I guess the first rule in keeping something to yourself is not telling others that you are keeping something to yourself. Oops.
My kids take after me in more ways than one.
I'm under strict orders not to tell the kids my news until the time is right. I am just wondering if that includes indirect sunlight, fashionista primping, and a professional makeup artist. Dana is very particular when it comes to capturing life on film so there's a good chance our kids won't be town criers until Dana figures out the setting, location, and timing of the big reveal. When we do finally reveal the secret, trust me, everyone will know too as the girls don't know how to keep anything to themselves. I'm sure that ability will be acquired within the next 10 years or so but for now, my children are blissfully ignorant to the social dilemmas faced by adults. When it comes to divulging news, who you tell and when you tell it are two of the most important decisions people have to routinely make.
Before I open my big mouth, I'll just stop typing the thoughts that are streaming wildly out of my head. I apparently haven't learned the basic concept of zipping my lips and this blog might spur an email of two wondering what the hell I'm talking about. I guess the first rule in keeping something to yourself is not telling others that you are keeping something to yourself. Oops.
My kids take after me in more ways than one.
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