Parenting Poetically

The baby at my feet is laid.
I fed her once, two poops she made.
There is no rhyme to this I fear.
My mind can't focus with her so near.


Trying to take care of junior while still have coherent thoughts and reasoning requires the use of all the brain cells I've got left. That ain't good. Of course as my luck will have it,  she's screaming/ velociraptoring  now. The tasks just got harder and my ears are ringing.

Isn't parenting wonderful!!!!

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Now I know my ABC's, next time won't you find my keys?

No, it doesn't.

If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger.

Uh, hold on a sec Kelly Clarkson. Are you sure? What if this thing that didn't kill you makes your life harder or just gives you the inability to do fun stuff? How the hell did that make you better off for it?

Let's say you really want to get a Big Mac because it's lunch time and you have nothing in the fridge that sounds good. You are all set to get in the van and head off to McDonald's but then you remember something important: there's a baby peacefully sleeping in the crib upstairs and you are the stay at home parent. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! If you wake her, free time is over. If you let her sleep, say hello to the two week old lunch meat that looks grayer than grandma. There is no win-win for you here. You are screwed, not stronger.

The American Idol winner is wrong. I am convinced of it. Hopefully another musical artist will get it right next time. Let's check the next selection on Spotify for clarity.


http://open.spotify.com/track/2ayGBCcM5zL8IPVc151ZLw

What the f????

If anyone can tell me what in the hell are they saying, I would like to know. For now I have no time to figure this out; the precious gift from God upstairs just woke up. The one thing I do know is this: parenting a baby does not kill you or make you stronger; it makes your back hurt. A lot.

Over Cooked

I think I'm done.

The other day, Dana asked me if I was going to keep writing. She knew it had been a while since I last sat down and wrote anything so she asked the question. I guess it was a gut reaction to reply that I'm done writing. Truthfully, I didn't hesitate saying it. Words just don't pour out of me lately and perhaps that's a good thing.

It's 8 AM on a Friday morning so forgive me for not further analyzing my life. Our two month old, Katie, kept me awake last night from the stress of her furiously refusing to take a bottle. My mind is tired, my body is surprisingly sore, and I just wanted to sit down at the computer to figure out how to move this day along. I had a minor urge to write but I think I'm done now.

To be continued is a question for another morning.

Christmas Past

It's a gray day outside my window as I sit in the bedroom, laptop open and ready to write. From my view, I can see the neighbor boy and a friend wildly riding bikes in the driveway while I simultaneously hear my older daughters playing the Wii downstairs. Thankfully all this noise hasn't woke our newborn, Katie (6 weeks old today), and she's finally sleeping in her crib. Now that I have some time to relax and observe kids instead of interacting with them, I wonder why my first thought is of our Christmas in 2007.

Our lives today are filled with schoolwork, activities and taking care of an infant. Back 4 years ago, our family had a much greater challenge as Emily was in the midst of treatment for Wilms' Tumors. In mid November, Emy had major surgery in New York City and it wasn't until mid December that we finally had clearance to come back home. Since we were gone so long and had no opportunity to decorate our house for the holidays, Dana and I decided that we would just "get to it when we got to it". After all Emily had been through, we really didn't have the time to even think about Christmas; making it through one day at a time was all we honestly cared about. Cancer was robbing us of having a normal life. It was pure hell.

But as we have come to appreciate, life filled with adversity does come with a beautiful counterpart. Upon arriving home from a world filled with pokes and fear, my family walked through the front door and saw that our Christmas tree was up, decorated, and had presents underneath.

A Christmas miracle! Hope, joy, and love bestowed on a weary family and especially a frail little girl with an emotional disconnect, fighting for her life. There are few sights I will remember more fondly than this. Emily's face: the amazement, happiness, life!!!!! I cry with the image burned into my memory. Her world was back to normal for a moment in time when she needed it most. Emily, our Emily, was back!!!!!

So here I am now, sitting in the bedroom and wiping away the tears of a Christmas memory. Why this is happening to me at this moment I don't understand. Perhaps my life has gotten "too normal" and God is reminding me to count myself as blessed. After all, I do have three healthy and wonderful children and an amazing wife I don't deserve. My world is good; I really do need to see that more clearly.

This day before Christmas Eve, I think a trip to the past was the best gift I could have received. My present is that much sweeter for remembering how far we have come. Hopefully this very special Christmas memory should keep me on the path of giving and appreciation; it's one road that can be bypassed when we sadly let selfishness take control of the wheel. Can't let that happen too often!

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!

The Day Is Almost Here

Dear Buddy,

You are scheduled to enter this world tomorrow morning around 8:00 and your mother and I are beyond excited to finally meet you. Your two sisters and Nana are just as anxious to see you too, and you will meet them after you have a bath, meal, and a change of attire that you haven't needed until now. The world we live in stands at the ready for our phone call and email telling them you are now with us. Your birth is on the minds of so many who, you will learn, have already started loving you.

Our lives have been blessed by you and soon we won't hardly recognize the world that we lived in without you. What you need to know is too hard for me to sit and write down today. Your mom and I will teach you a few things once in a while that you won't understand, but we hope that someday you will remember those life lessons that all kids learn the hard way and make good choices going forward. I know that I am going to make mistakes with you (your sisters can attest to that) but I promise to do my best not to scar you for life in any shape or fashion. When I falter, and I will, try to remember that I'm not just your Dad but that I'm also flawed like everyone else. If you could also remember that I love you with every fiber of my being, maybe my missteps won't seem so awful.

You will find out that you have the most amazing sisters in the whole world. Emily and Samantha have been kissing your mother's belly since the day we could see you moving around inside mommy and they have loved you and the thought of you for a long time. Try to see them for the sweet and gentle souls they really are and not as the source of constant competition for our affection. The girls are very smart and loving, but there will be times when you will question every ounce of that. Please don't. They will always be there to love and protect you even if it seems that they'd rather set you on the curb for trash pickup. Your sisters have wanted you in their world just as much as mommy and me.

If I could share some words about your mother, you would find that I couldn't find enough adjectives to describe the beautiful woman and person that I married 11 years ago. Mommy is a loving, generous, creative, intelligent, and strong woman who is devoted to her children even as she works to provide a life for us all that takes her away from the house each day. You won't have to learn much about mommy now; you've already felt her love as you grew inside the womb. Just know that her love for you and your sisters only grows stronger each day. Watch her, learn from her, and be prepared to be amazed! You are blessed to have her in your life just as much as we all are.

As I'm writing this letter to you, Buddy, I'm filled with overwhelming feelings of love for our family. You are part of that world already and I just can't wait to hold you in my arms to tell you how much that I love you. As you grow up, you will be surrounded by family and friends who couldn't wait for the day of your birth. Lucky for them and us, that day is almost here. See you soon!

Love always,
Daddy  :)

Who's There?

While playing around with the set-up features of this blog, I discovered viewer stats that I never knew existed. Though I have no idea WHO specifically is reading my entries, I found out WHERE people are seeing this. It's  a kind of creepy-yet awesomely cool feeling to know that I'm not the only one reading my own words. Makes me less lonely I guess. Blogging can be sad.

Before I go cry myself to sleep,  I'd like to warmly acknowledge a few loyal people:

Thank you, 53 communists who made Russia my second biggest country in terms of viewership! You rallied to beat Germany (47) again. By the way, did you know that you two are very competitive people by nature. No fighting over me, please. I have plenty of blog for you to share.

Thank you, 29 random people from The Netherlands who read me last week. I'm guessing that it must have been too cold in Amsterdam to leave the house in search of weed. Don't really know what drove you guys to find me (red lights?), but I'm thankful nonetheless.

Thank you, 8 United Arab Emirates citizens who helped put my words into a part of the world that I will never see. Your efforts have now landed me on 3 continents. Praise Allah! Though this is awessome, I'd like you to find Jesus at some point. Look for me to blog about that before the end of days in 2012.

And finally, thank you to the 937 Americans who I most likely will never know. Should we ever happen to meet, greet me with the phrase "Here is $100.". If it's not too much to ask, hand me the cash next. It's only polite to follow through with what you said and integrity is important after all. Anything less than that would be distinctly un-American. You don't want to be un-American now, do you? I didn't think so either.


Help me go global and put this blog on the map! I want peeps in Asia and Africa soon; too many of them not to have at least one reader, right? Adios mi amigos!

Universal Buddy

My daughters are really enjoying Dana's pregnancy these past few weeks. Their endless kisses and pokes to mommy's belly is overwhelming proof that Emy and Sami are ready to meet their sibling. You can even hear the excitement in their voices as they talk about "our" baby. Sometime in the past month, this kiddo stopped being just Dana's and mine; Buddy now belongs to them too. I think this quasi-ownership is super cute. I also think it's just the honeymoon phase.

Here is what I strongly believe:

1. The girls will love their new brother/sister as much as they love each other.
2. Our family dynamic will change for the betterment of each of us.
3. Dana and I will witness growth and maturity from our children that will amaze us.
4. For all the proclamations of love that this baby will bring, neither daughter of mine will volunteer to change the first explosive diaper that leaks through the onesie, soaks the crib sheet, and takes 15 wipes to clean.

It's safe to assume that after #4 happens (technically a number 2?), Buddy's novelty will wear off and the girls will resume their lives of self promotion and personal advancement. In other words, "our" baby will quickly become "your" baby to my precious daughters. Anything short of this will bring profound confusion to their parents.

We are all extremely anxious to meet Buddy in less than 3 weeks! Dana's health is good, the kids are somewhat helpful with the chores we've given them, and I'm fighting back the fears of being a dad again at age 42. Despite what would seem like an upheaval in our routine, our lives are constantly in a state of flux anyway; adding a new family member is a life change that we only see as a blessing from God.

"Our" baby, is what my girls are calling their unborn sibling at the moment. How long this universal ownership lasts will just depend on our transition from a familiar quartet to a party of five. When we hear "your" baby from our daughters' mouths for the first time, Dana and I will have confirmation that Buddy's sisters have made the adjustment to living alongside a  newborn with flying colors. Hearing "our" baby  is wonderful even if it's only temporary.