Let It Begin With Me

Is it time for bed yet?

I don't ask much in life. I really don't. It's not like I don't have desires or wishes; I have LOTS of those.

For instance:
I'd like a Jaguar. The vehicle, not the cat.
I'd like a place in the Caribbean. Beach house would be great but I'd prefer one up on a hill with an overlook to the ocean. I enjoy binoculars.
I'd like my bald spots to sprout hair once again. That one is gonna take a miracle I think but I'm holding out hope.
I'd like a house that is drama free. I probably have a better chance of growing my hair back than that  I think.

The one thing I REALLY want and am lacking these days is a peaceful evening. That would mean:

No television.
No electronics.
No family game time where the children lose their shit.
No barking puppy. (No nipping, biting, or growling puppy either. The little fucker has needles for teeth,)
No teenage boys calling my daughters. They need to go away.
No arguing.
No talking back or talking of any form. Sign language might even be too loud for these people.
NO NOISE!


Every night around 8:00 I feel the urge to ask the question: is it time for bed yet? The people and the dog can stay up and I don't care if they ever sleep. I just have two goals: get into my bed while the sheets are still cold and refresh my Star Wars iPad game tickets at 10:00. All I need to do is make sure I say a proper goodnight to the noise makers and control my urge to play Got You Last. This should be easy. It's not.

Everyone loses their damn mind and basic common sense at night. What the hell? Do I need to sacrifice a rooster or something to get the volume down?

I am a simple person. Don't give me extra crap to deal with and I'll definitely be an annoyed S.O.B. if anyone starts crying. Ask my wife if I enjoy that particular drama or change of any sort. She might laugh in your face if you ask her.

So here I am. It's 9:40 PM and I'm trying to find a way to artfully end this post while making sure I don't lose the opportunity to avoid my family for the bliss of a quiet upstairs. God, please don't let me rile the children; I love a good game of tag but I really don't need to screw this up. I can almost hear the bed calling my name.

The christian hymn "Let there be peace on earth" is on an endless loop in my brain. Time to give that song a chance to finish.Only one way that will happen. Good Night, laptop!



Reality check: The kids are talking, I'm still not upstairs, and the COVID-19 USA infected account as of right now is 164,253. The number of fatalities is now 3,165. The school district alerted us tonight that school is out two more weeks, through April 17th. Have to wonder if summer break has already begun.

This pandemic is a nightmare.

You Are The Music In Me

I write for fun. I write for others. I write for the sake of remembering. I write for money.

I don't write to expose. I don't write to complain. There are many reasons I stay silent.

But I should write lyrics because I can and so many can not.

Needing writing inspiration. I finally got it from an old friend DJ'ing global alternative music on Facebook. Here are some of the lyrics I think I'm hearing from a "song" he's playing:

I just got paid the time. I am a carrot.
Buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh
beep beep doink buh bum bum bum
ugh ugh buh bug buh buh bug bug…….Carpe Diem. I am a carrot.
Uh.........um….....what in the hell was that???????

This guy could be reciting bible verses. He could be selling house salads. I have no idea what he's singing and half of it wasn't English. Even the parts that were sung in English made zero sense. I do like carrots though. Surprisingly I'm both apparently appalled by his lyric proficiency and currently somewhat hungry.

I'll keep his beat and instrumentals but use words from my world:

A stay at home parent. Evolution revolution?
Not ready for kids 24/7.
A plan to move ahead. Maybe the one solution.
Going down the path to the true heaven?

The lyrics I composed sounded much better when I was dancing to the techno crap my Facebook friend was playing. Just trust me. Imagine a ton of deep bass beats thumping 'bum bum bum' while I'm singing about the most major life decision I ever made and you get the idea.


I'm not a lyricist but I do have a wife, three kids, and a puppy who need me to stay sane and for our benefit, writing for fun helps me move toward that goal. Truth is this blog is a break they allow me to have once in a while and I'm using every second as a mental vacation. Life downstairs and outside can pause for an hour.


For a reality check and a reminder of why we have a quarantine in place, the USA COVID counts as of now: 32,356 infected, 414 deaths. This is just the tip of the iceberg. My advice? Wash everything and keep a journal. Maybe write a song too.







.

Muh muh muh my Corona.

COVID-19 Quarantine Journal: The Corona Chronicles 

Days 1-3 (March 16-18, 2020)

Synopsis:

I'm at home with our three kids who may not return to school this academic year thanks to COVID-19, otherwise known as the coronavirus. Dana's company, Spectrum, will not allow her to work remotely. All five of us are healthy, as is our 16 lb. and 4 month old puppy, and we have enough food to last several weeks.

Life on earth has changed dramatically since many governments are instructing their citizens to self quarantine at home for at least two weeks. Most grocery stores near us are limiting how many paper products you can purchase and the shelves inside are bare of essentials such as eggs, orange juice, butter, flour, and rice.

As of this vey minute, the reported USA infected count is 8,019 and the death toll is 125.

All that said, if I had to chose one word to describe the current situation it would be "scary".


These are the facts. I wanted those out there before I let thoughts escape my head like steam from a pressure cooker. So thankful I'm using this medium instead of screaming otherwise I'd wake the puppy. Never wake the puppy. Never. Penny is a biter.

Observations:

1. President Cheeto is not good at anything except lying and most rational people would consider him to be a savant at that. I can't stand watching him or reading his moronic tweets. He's at best an awful person. He is woefully unable to coherently or competently address the nation about the coronavirus. We're all screwed.

2. Homeschooling in 2020 is easy despite everyone bitching about now having to educate their kids. Internet resources alone are sufficient to get the ball rolling. Common sense, patience, and research skills are all that's needed afterwards. Most parents should have all 3. Sadly for our society, "should" and "do" are not synonyms.

3. My kids make a lot of noise. My ears hurt.

4. Watching the pandemic coverage looks a lot like every apocalypse movie ever created. Starts off with one goober in a remote cave getting bitten and then morphs into hospitals everywhere overflowing within days with the infected. These movies usually include good looking people getting rescued from hoards of zombies by a helicopter. Anyone own a chopper? Just asking for a friend....

5. Writing a blog in the middle of the day with my family in the house wasn't impossible but I had to take breaks to: address 9th grade geometry, 2nd grade spelling, a 16 year old cleaning lady, and the incessant crying of our puppy in her kennel because she's Cujo Jr. when let loose. I prefer to keep my toes.


That's all I have for now. More Jones Fam CC to come. The crying puppy needs a nap.

Ramblings of a Sloppy Mind

Just about an hour ago I sat down to the computer because I thought I felt the urge to write.

Wasn't sure what I wanted to create but then again, I rarely do until my fingers start hitting keys.

I opened up Facebook and thought to myself "Hey..you can shoot out a post and see who wants to tell you that they're there." At the very least I thought I'd see if anyone else felt the earthquake that shook us at 5:37 this morning.

A quick internet search found an earthquake article from the local ABC affiliate so I did a quick read and then posted it to my account.

Did anyone see it?

Did anyone care?

Am I alone on the www?



So why do I want to write? Loneliness. It has to be that.

How can a man with kids, a wife, friends, and neighbors be so damn lonely? I can't be.

I am.

Hiding inside me is a monster. It's creepy, sneaky, and well camouflaged....but it's there. I've known about it for a long time.

I've tried to warn others and felt my super powers could destroy it. Sadly, I'm a daydreamer and none of this is real.

But IT is.

Give the monster a name and it becomes real. Show it any mercy and it grows. Becomes completely entrenched. Starts spreading to loved ones.

I'm rambling like a fool but that's what it wants me to do. Can't concentrate on a cure if I can't concentrate enough to start concentrating.

So very not confused but wish I was.

God help me.


Disturbed by the lack of disturbances so as to become disturbing.

Derrick Coleman was me and I was not him.



Well.....that was....................interesting.



Just realized I had low blood sugar so I ate 5 mini muffins and a half bag of chocolate Teddy Grahams. Feeling much happier now.


Bye!

I love sweet tea. Mint tea. Minty. Min-T




Still rambling.

I have to fold clothes now.

Reality.

Colon right parenthesis.

Birthday Wishes

OK. I'm turning 45 in a few days. What do I want? Well, from my family, that's pretty simple.

1. I don't want to cook and I want good meals. If it's fast and simple then you haven't done enough. Cereal is not breakfast either f.y.i.

2. Potty training takes a day off for the birthday boy.

3. Anyone but me will wash dishes. I don't care who else does it. Not Katie though. She's only 2.

4. The house could be picked up! Same goes for the piles and trash. We don't want to be on Hoarders, do we?

5. Zero noise pollution. Shhhhhhh!

6. Gifts should be electronic and not made for cooking purposes. It's not my dream to be a chef.

7. If I get a fun gift let me use it in peace! No guilt for playing with my toys would be nice too.

8. See #1 again. Don't forget I put that there for a reason. Chop chop.

9. No arguing by anyone. I want harmony and it's my birthday. I am right all day long too.

10. Don't ask me what I want to do for my birthday. We can't afford what I want to do so just use my top ten list to make me happy. Seriously. When we win Powerball this list will look MUCH different.


That's it. I'm a simple guy with simple desires. If there is one reason why my desires should be followed it is this: I'm halfway to 90 so be nice to me.

Thank you.

Thoughts on a Wednesday Morning

It's been a year since I posted a blog entry!

Did I miss writing a blog? Have I been occupied with life? Do I want to say something?

The truth is this: I'm sitting next to my 22 month old daughter as she pounds the kitchen table with two toys and I'm more worried about what she's about to do than if I can finish this sentence with any clarity. Katie is a pip and a half and more able to get into trouble than ever before. Case in point, she just tried to climb onto the very same table she's hitting. I got her off the chair she stood on and now she's climbing up the stairs. This is too much. I need a vacation!

I'd like to write a book but my life as the stay at home dad just makes that task too daunting. I know it's my loss and it will be a regret I'll always have. Finding time for me just comes with too many holes to fill for everyone else. If my life came to an end suddenly, I'm not stupid enough to believe that the world around me would crumble. I just feel that everyone who matters to me needs me to be me more than they need me to be a writer. In other words, I don't think my writing will make the world better for anyone else.

No pity party is intended by this. The life I chose for myself came with parameters I understood and accepted. I made a vow to do this job and I take integrity seriously. I know many other folks look at life's responsibilities as a series of plastic bags; convenient to throw away as soon as they're not needed. I don't share that view and quite frankly, I find it disturbing. It's also a lifestyle that makes me angry.

A bunch of life events have hit me at once and to not think of them is challenging. My daughters are amazingly able to keep me focused on them (they rarely leave me alone) and the worries I have about life manifest themselves in pre-sleep visions as I lay my head down at night. I'll write these all down at some point but even now, Katie is tearing up the playroom and I have that sixth sense telling me she's about to set the house on fire or at the very least give herself a boo boo. Once again, my world interferes with blogging. This sounds way too familiar.

I don't know if my next entry will come in 2014, but I'd like to think I can crank these out more frequently. If, when, where, and why are questions needing to be answered first. Well, right after I change the diaper that's hanging so close to the ground I'm amazed that Katie isn't using it in conjunction with her legs as a tripod.

Later. I think.

memory

I often look at photos of my children and try to remember what they were like at the time the photos were taken. Do I remember the sound of their tiny voices? What were their favorite snacks? How much space did I have in the house back then; before the toys took over? My mind tries to comes up with answers but I rarely get them. I suppose that if we were meant to hold onto all the information we constantly take in, our heads would be full before our 1st birthday. Information in means some memories get pushed out. Wouldn't it be great to be able to decide what you are going to forget? Life might be easier if that happened. Here's my big question: is the terrible stuff really worth keeping?