My wife is 29 weeks pregnant right now and looking every part of the beautiful momma to be for the third time. It's at this place in her pregnancy where every one starts asking the question "Have you picked out a name for the baby yet?"
Uh, yes and no. If Buddy (that's the name we gave to our not so hidden bundle) is a boy, then yes, we have something to work with. But if Buddy turns out to be a girl.... how do I say this nicely, we're screwed.
Coming up with names hasn't been difficult; there are probably 10 names we like individually. The problem is agreeing on one. I like Amanda. Dana like Olivia. I like Jennifer. Dana likes Madison. I like ketchup. Dana likes mustard. Less filling. Tastes great. We're at a standstill.
There has to be a solution that gives our daughter a dignified name before she leaves the hospital. Dana bought a baby naming book to help us out and since we're middle class white folk, there are no plans to get creative with consonants, vowels, or commas. Not giving our kid a symbol either.
La'Babeegurl3 Jones ain't happening.
Since we are almost 2 months away from the c-section and are stuck in this process, I think we should sell the naming rights. Seriously. We all know people who will spend money on anything and maybe one of them will give us tuition money for the honor.
"Have you always wanted to have a child named after you?" "Do you have someone special in your life that's really hard to buy a gift for?" "Is there a legacy you want to leave and no one to leave it to?" Well come on down and pull up a seat. I might have a deal for you!
If Reliant Stadium in Houston can have a 32 year, $300 million naming rights deal, why the heck can't we sell our kid's name for a fraction of that? Seems like a good investment to me. Dana and I make good looking and smart kids with tremendous entertainment value. Our stock is solid.
So let me just leave this post with this; if you know of a female name that sounds great to you that won't offend anyone or be a pain in the ass for our kid to spell, send me an email. If you know of a millionaire who has money to burn, give me a phone call. If you have a serious stockpile of cash and stocks, come on over.
Limited Edition Jones will be here in November. Act now while supplies last.