Birthday Wishes

OK. I'm turning 45 in a few days. What do I want? Well, from my family, that's pretty simple.

1. I don't want to cook and I want good meals. If it's fast and simple then you haven't done enough. Cereal is not breakfast either f.y.i.

2. Potty training takes a day off for the birthday boy.

3. Anyone but me will wash dishes. I don't care who else does it. Not Katie though. She's only 2.

4. The house could be picked up! Same goes for the piles and trash. We don't want to be on Hoarders, do we?

5. Zero noise pollution. Shhhhhhh!

6. Gifts should be electronic and not made for cooking purposes. It's not my dream to be a chef.

7. If I get a fun gift let me use it in peace! No guilt for playing with my toys would be nice too.

8. See #1 again. Don't forget I put that there for a reason. Chop chop.

9. No arguing by anyone. I want harmony and it's my birthday. I am right all day long too.

10. Don't ask me what I want to do for my birthday. We can't afford what I want to do so just use my top ten list to make me happy. Seriously. When we win Powerball this list will look MUCH different.


That's it. I'm a simple guy with simple desires. If there is one reason why my desires should be followed it is this: I'm halfway to 90 so be nice to me.

Thank you.