Thoughts on a Wednesday Morning

It's been a year since I posted a blog entry!

Did I miss writing a blog? Have I been occupied with life? Do I want to say something?

The truth is this: I'm sitting next to my 22 month old daughter as she pounds the kitchen table with two toys and I'm more worried about what she's about to do than if I can finish this sentence with any clarity. Katie is a pip and a half and more able to get into trouble than ever before. Case in point, she just tried to climb onto the very same table she's hitting. I got her off the chair she stood on and now she's climbing up the stairs. This is too much. I need a vacation!

I'd like to write a book but my life as the stay at home dad just makes that task too daunting. I know it's my loss and it will be a regret I'll always have. Finding time for me just comes with too many holes to fill for everyone else. If my life came to an end suddenly, I'm not stupid enough to believe that the world around me would crumble. I just feel that everyone who matters to me needs me to be me more than they need me to be a writer. In other words, I don't think my writing will make the world better for anyone else.

No pity party is intended by this. The life I chose for myself came with parameters I understood and accepted. I made a vow to do this job and I take integrity seriously. I know many other folks look at life's responsibilities as a series of plastic bags; convenient to throw away as soon as they're not needed. I don't share that view and quite frankly, I find it disturbing. It's also a lifestyle that makes me angry.

A bunch of life events have hit me at once and to not think of them is challenging. My daughters are amazingly able to keep me focused on them (they rarely leave me alone) and the worries I have about life manifest themselves in pre-sleep visions as I lay my head down at night. I'll write these all down at some point but even now, Katie is tearing up the playroom and I have that sixth sense telling me she's about to set the house on fire or at the very least give herself a boo boo. Once again, my world interferes with blogging. This sounds way too familiar.

I don't know if my next entry will come in 2014, but I'd like to think I can crank these out more frequently. If, when, where, and why are questions needing to be answered first. Well, right after I change the diaper that's hanging so close to the ground I'm amazed that Katie isn't using it in conjunction with her legs as a tripod.

Later. I think.

memory

I often look at photos of my children and try to remember what they were like at the time the photos were taken. Do I remember the sound of their tiny voices? What were their favorite snacks? How much space did I have in the house back then; before the toys took over? My mind tries to comes up with answers but I rarely get them. I suppose that if we were meant to hold onto all the information we constantly take in, our heads would be full before our 1st birthday. Information in means some memories get pushed out. Wouldn't it be great to be able to decide what you are going to forget? Life might be easier if that happened. Here's my big question: is the terrible stuff really worth keeping?

Facewaste

If Facebook is a venue to share our likes and comments, when is it acceptable to tell your friends that you dislike their posts?

Is there a wait and see approach that you need to adhere to; where you let others make affirmative comments before you slam your "friend" for having the mental capacity of a banana?

Can you just jump on someone immediately for his/her incessant need to post every detail including what their preferred brand of toilet paper is? I find myself wanting to un-friend people just because they post so often.

I'm also getting really frustrated with all my "friends" who feel the need to tell me how much they hate President Obama. I understand they are staunch Republicans who blindly follow party talking points, but could they just take a look at who they are supporting rather than who they want out of office? Mitt Romney WILL SAY ANYTHING to get elected, has a history of reversing his policies, and is CLEARLY OUT OF TOUCH with anyone not in the upper class. Are they so convinced that President Obama has done them wrong that they would be willing to vote for Romney; a man very likely to forget what he campaigned for? Come on people! Stop telling me how much you want our president out of office. You won't get any "likes" from me when you share your political ideas.

I suppose this all brings me to one very simple question: if I am bothered by so much of what I see, do I really need to be on Facebook?

If I just up and left social media altogether my life would be just fine. Problems pop up every day that need my attention so less time reading the daily drivel of people I never really felt that close to should result in more time for me to take care of what is most important anyway. Life is too precious to spend living vicariously through the status updates of others. It's fun but ultimately worthless.

 Good bye Facebook. I'm un-friending you. Post that.

Marriage Equality

If consenting adults want to marry one another, nothing should stand in their way. Stopping homosexuals from getting married is discrimination. It's just that simple and it's wrong.

Here's my problem with all those in opposition to gay marriage: where the HELL are they when they see teenagers drop out of school and have multiple children? The supporters of "traditional family values" have to know that those kids (i.e. "sinners" by the Bible's definition) will have a difficult life and it will be harder for them to compete for higher wages. The circle of poverty grows from there and succeeding generations surely will rely more on government help than through fighting for personal growth towards excellence. Shouldn't the opponents of gay marriage view immature and unwed teenagers starting families as a bigger issue and one that they need to be fighting against? Those folks just can't see through their hatred and bigotry for what is really killing "the traditional family". Gay men and women in loving relationships is not the problem. Stupidity is.

We sadly live in a nation that's getting dangerously less tolerant and increasingly dumbed down. This has to stop. Let all people in love take care of one another so that the rest of us don't have to.

Parenting Poetically

The baby at my feet is laid.
I fed her once, two poops she made.
There is no rhyme to this I fear.
My mind can't focus with her so near.


Trying to take care of junior while still have coherent thoughts and reasoning requires the use of all the brain cells I've got left. That ain't good. Of course as my luck will have it,  she's screaming/ velociraptoring  now. The tasks just got harder and my ears are ringing.

Isn't parenting wonderful!!!!

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Now I know my ABC's, next time won't you find my keys?

No, it doesn't.

If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger.

Uh, hold on a sec Kelly Clarkson. Are you sure? What if this thing that didn't kill you makes your life harder or just gives you the inability to do fun stuff? How the hell did that make you better off for it?

Let's say you really want to get a Big Mac because it's lunch time and you have nothing in the fridge that sounds good. You are all set to get in the van and head off to McDonald's but then you remember something important: there's a baby peacefully sleeping in the crib upstairs and you are the stay at home parent. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! If you wake her, free time is over. If you let her sleep, say hello to the two week old lunch meat that looks grayer than grandma. There is no win-win for you here. You are screwed, not stronger.

The American Idol winner is wrong. I am convinced of it. Hopefully another musical artist will get it right next time. Let's check the next selection on Spotify for clarity.


http://open.spotify.com/track/2ayGBCcM5zL8IPVc151ZLw

What the f????

If anyone can tell me what in the hell are they saying, I would like to know. For now I have no time to figure this out; the precious gift from God upstairs just woke up. The one thing I do know is this: parenting a baby does not kill you or make you stronger; it makes your back hurt. A lot.

Over Cooked

I think I'm done.

The other day, Dana asked me if I was going to keep writing. She knew it had been a while since I last sat down and wrote anything so she asked the question. I guess it was a gut reaction to reply that I'm done writing. Truthfully, I didn't hesitate saying it. Words just don't pour out of me lately and perhaps that's a good thing.

It's 8 AM on a Friday morning so forgive me for not further analyzing my life. Our two month old, Katie, kept me awake last night from the stress of her furiously refusing to take a bottle. My mind is tired, my body is surprisingly sore, and I just wanted to sit down at the computer to figure out how to move this day along. I had a minor urge to write but I think I'm done now.

To be continued is a question for another morning.